It Was Always You
by silently-believing
Summary: Princess Mithian returns to Camelot for a state visit. Gwen doesn't know about her past with Arthur until Merlin lets it slip. How does she react?  *Arthur already knows about the bracelet and Morgana's involvement in Lancelot-gate.*


"Will that be all my lord?" King Arthur nodded to his council, "Yes, that will be all."

"Finally", Arthur muttered under his breath. The council meeting had been on for more than three hours and the young monarch was dying to get up and stretch his legs. He shot a sideward glance at Guinevere. The queen was much better at hiding her boredom, and seemed fresh faced and attentive. Arthur was just about to get up, when he remembered something. Damn. How could he have forgotten? "I almost neglected to mention than Princess Mithian of Nemeth will be arriving tomorrow on a state visit. I understand it is very short notice, but I trust you will do everything in your power to make her stay comfortable. We will convene tomorrow at noon." 

* * *

><p>Gwen walked down the brightly lit corridor, holding onto her husbands arm. The recently concluded council meeting had left her somewhat confused. Whoever this "Princess Mithian" was, she had surely elicited a strange response from the other courtiers. As soon as Arthur had announced her visit, many of the knights blushed and turned away. In fact, she thought with a chuckle, it was almost as if they had been avoiding <em>her <em>gaze. She shook her head, and tried to shake this improbable thought out of it. Why would they be embarrassed to face her?

And yet the thought kept popping back into her mind. Once she and Arthur had reached their chambers, Gwen decided that she should just ask him, and rid herself of her silly notions. "Arthur, this Princess of Nemeth, Mithian, has she visited Camelot before? I don't seemed to recall her, but the other members of the council seemed to be familiar with her?" "What do you mean has she visited before?" Merlin said as he helped the king remove his cape and sword, "She was all set to become Queen wasn't she? In fact…" Merlin stopped as he saw that his master had turned towards him with a face redder than a tomato and an expression that wouldn't look out of place on a mass murder. "Oh. You didn't know… because you were… that's right… so… I'm just going to…. stop talking. "

Gwen was quite sure she had misheard Merlin. She repeated his words out loud, slowly "She was all set… to become… queen?" She looked up at her husband, waiting for him to come forth with some rational explanation that would clear up this misunderstanding. Arthur opened his mouth, as if to say something, but closed it instead. He shut his eyes, contemplating the best way to explain the situation to his wife, but all that came to his head were images of gruesome means to murder his manservant.

"I may have once, in the past, been engaged to her." Gwen blinked twice. "Engaged? So you were planning to marry her?" "Yes. At one point… the plan… may have been…erm…well that." Every sentence he spoke made Arthur mentally slap himself. He was the king of Camelot. Surely he could handle this better. "And when exactly was this?" The king sighed. "Right after you left." "You mean right after I was _forced_to leave." Guinevere spoke softly, but her words were as sharp as needles. An awkward silence settled after her last statement.

"But of course! That was all in the past, and everyone's happy now so I think we can all…" The two pairs of eyes staring at him with the intensity of an inferno cut Merlin right off. "You know what? On second thought, I think I'll just let you two sort this out."

Arthur watched Merlin scurry out and close the door behind him before saying "There's no need to get angry Guinevere! You have no idea what I was feeling at the time. I was confused. I was upset. Meanwhile Agravaine was pushing me to settle the Gedref dispute with Nemeth. The most peaceful solution I could think of was to marry Mithian. I was thinking about the future of Camelot." "Yes." Guinevere sniffed and turned away, "the good of Camelot. I understand."

"No. You're still mad." "I'm not." "Yes you are. Although I cannot see why. After what you had done with Lancelot…" "I can not believe that you would use that as an excuse!" Guinevere hadn't meant to scream, but it came out like that anyway. "You know that was not my fault!" "I know that now, but at the time-" "And even if you believed that I had betrayed you, how long did it take you to move on? Weeks? Days? So while I was raking up muck, scrounging for a place to live, for food to eat, and _**hating **_myself all the while, you were preparing for your marriage?" "Stop it! Do you think it was an easy decision for me? I was a broken man Guinevere, because of you. And Mithian was beautiful, witty and most importantly strategic. What would you have expected me to do?" Guinevere narrowed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. She was not a victim here. "Beautiful and witty huh? And strategic too. Perhaps you should have married her." And with that, the queen walked out, not wanting to hear any more.

Even if she had stayed, she wouldn't have heard anything. The king was speechless. Arthur sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands, wondering how on earth he could have mishandled the situation so badly. Why couldn't he have told Guinevere about Mithian before announcing it publicly to the council? Perhaps if he had time to choose his words, he could have put the matter more gently. And the Lancelot issue. Why had he brought that up? He knew how much it hurt her. She hadn't been at fault and yet he had banished her, forced her to leave home and live with a guilt she did not deserve. 

* * *

><p>All the knights of Camelot stood on the stairs outside the castle, behind their king and queen, trying to ignore the chilly winter air that was nipping at them. The queen herself was nervous. Her fingers were twitching as she forced herself to not bite her nails. She had to appear regal and polished after all. Merlin, who was standing right beside her, noticed her anxiety and leaned over to whisper, "It'll be alright. You have nothing to worry about." She nodded and tried to smile at him, but instead only managed a grimace. She could hear the horse's hooves, the Nemethian party could not be more than minutes away.<p>

When the Princess lifted her lace veil, even Gwen had to keep herself from gasping. Mithian was gorgeous. Her skin was so white and polished, it may as well have been made of marble. Her gown was exquisite, made from fine silver silk, tailored to fit her body to perfection. And her hair. Soft, smooth and straight, a perfect contrast to Gwen's own, sometimes unmanageable, curly locks. Gwen wanted to turn to her right, and look at Arthur's expression, but she was too afraid to do so. At this moment, she was not emotionally capable of being objective. Any emotion on his face was sure to be misread by her muddled mind. Instead she turned the other way and whispered to Merlin "She _is _very beautiful." Her friend paused and stared at the princess for a while before saying "Eh. Given a chance, I'd still pick you." This time, Gwen did smile.

The meeting at noon itself was a blur to Gwen. She nodded when she had to, answered questions when asked as well as she could, and tried her best to melt into the background. She couldn't find the will pay much attention. The entire duration of the discussion, she found herself observing Mithian like a hawk. The way she sat, the way she spoke, the way she ate. The way she laughed at Arthur's jokes, the way she seemed to always be on the same page as him. Gwen had wanted to hate her, to be repulsed by every word that dropped from her lips, but was shocked to find that she couldn't. The princess was gracious, polite, perfectly poised, basically absolutely lovely in every possible way.

By the time the queen had come to this sickening conclusion, she felt Arthur's arm brushing against her. She looked up to see him extending his arm to her. Of course. The meeting was over. She pulled herself up, took his arm, and walked out with what she hoped was, enough grace to rival the visiting royalty.

* * *

><p>When they walked into their chambers, Guinevere noticed that Merlin was not to be seen. He was probably too scared, considering what had happened the last time he had been here. Gwen, still feeling that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, sat down on the bed while Arthur busied himself with the removal of his ceremonial accessories. No one spoke.<p>

After more than a few minutes, Gwen finally broke the uneasy silence. "Princess Mithian will make a wonderful queen. Someday." "Yes she will.", Arthur replied tersely. "I mean, she's so sure of what to do. She knows what is best for her people. She would have been a great queen to the people of Camelot. Me, on the other hand, _well_. Most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea why I even deserve to be on this throne-" she paused as her voice cracked, and eyes began to well up. "Guinevere." Arthur walked up to the bed, and kneeled down in front of her, taking her petite hands in his own. "Guinevere. You are doing a splendid job. Everyone thinks so. I know it can be hard at times. I've been training for this my whole life, and I still find it difficult. I'm not the perfect king, and I don't pretend to be, but if it wasn't for the support of the woman I love, I wouldn't be half the ruler I am today."

Guinevere opened her mouth to speak, but Arthur put his finger over her lips to silence her. "That woman is you, Guinevere. I love you. I love everything about you. Yes. Mithian is beautiful and charming but she couldn't make me feel for a second what I feel about you. Don't you understand? I tried to hide my feelings for you, I tried to pushed them away but I failed. One memory from the past, and everything came rushing back. There is no possible way I could have married Mithian when just the thought of you brought me to my knees. You are _everything_to me, and you always will be."

Gwen reached forward to brush the tears away from her husband's face, unmindful of those pouring down her own. Arthur gently caressed her cheeks and leaned forward gently, allowing his lips to meet hers. As the sunlight streamed through the nearby window, illuminating their faces, nothing else mattered.


End file.
